How God Prepares You for Suffering Before It Begins
"Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus..." — Hebrews 12:1–2
Most of us don't think about preparing for suffering until it arrives. We assume we'll figure it out when the time comes. We'll pray more, trust God more, and somehow find the strength we need if life ever falls apart. But what if God has been preparing you long before the storm ever arrives? What if the quiet moments of prayer, the ordinary days of obedience, and the seasons that seemed insignificant were actually God's way of building a foundation strong enough to carry you through what was still ahead?
In this episode of Kingdom Chaos, Amy and I sat down with our friend Dalin to continue the conversation we began with her husband, Sean, in Episode 20. Sean shared what it's like to suffer physically through a life-threatening illness. This time, we wanted to hear from the person standing beside him every day. What does faith look like for the spouse who isn't physically suffering but is carrying the weight of watching someone they love slowly decline? Her perspective reminded me that God often prepares us for seasons we never see coming.
When I asked Dalin who she was before this season began, she didn't immediately talk about careers, accomplishments, or personality. Instead, she talked about her relationship with God. She explained that she didn't wait until Sean became sick to pursue intimacy with the Lord. Years before the crisis, God had already been teaching her to depend on Him. Looking back, she can now see that those earlier seasons weren't random. They were preparation. God was strengthening her faith before she ever realized she would need it.
One of the most powerful moments in our conversation came when Dalin described what her quiet times with God looked like before Sean became ill. She remembered standing at the kitchen sink, overwhelmed by the responsibilities of motherhood, adoption, work, and everyday life. There were days when she simply cried out to God, telling Him, "My burden isn't easy. My yoke isn't light." What struck me was that she didn't describe God as someone who immediately fixed every problem. Instead, she described Him as a Father who invited her to be honest. She didn't feel judged. She didn't feel like she had to clean herself up before coming to Him. She simply felt welcomed to tell Him exactly where she was struggling. That relationship became the foundation she would later stand on when life became far more difficult.
Dalen also shared how adopting their daughter transformed her understanding of God's love. As she learned to love a child who hadn't always known her as "Mom," she began seeing a beautiful picture of how God pursues each of us. She realized that God doesn't wait until we have everything together before calling us His own. He pursues us, chooses us, and invites us into relationship long before we deserve it. Watching her daughter slowly learn to trust her gave Dalen a completely new understanding of what it means to be adopted into God's family. That revelation deepened her faith in ways she never expected and became another piece of God's preparation for the future.
As Sean's illness progressed, Dalin naturally wanted to fix the problem. Like so many of us, her instinct was to search for answers, organize medical information, research treatments, and carry as much of the burden as she possibly could. But beneath all of that was something even deeper. She shared that when she was seventeen, her younger brother died. Because she had been sick shortly before he passed away, she quietly carried the weight of wondering if she had somehow been responsible. She never fully realized how much that grief was still influencing her until Sean became sick. Without even recognizing it, she began treating his illness as another situation she had to fix. God gently revealed that she wasn't simply fighting for her husband's health—she was also trying to heal wounds she'd carried for decades. That realization became another invitation to surrender control and trust the Lord in ways she never had before.
One story from the conversation has stayed with me ever since. Before Sean's health dramatically declined, Dalin walked to her mailbox and found an unexpected check inside. At the exact moment she held it in her hands, she sensed God whisper, "It's going to be a hard year." At first, that message brought sadness rather than comfort. Three weeks later, Sean became seriously ill. Months afterward, while attending a church gathering about generosity, God reminded her of that unexpected check. It wasn't about the amount of money. It was God's way of assuring her that before the hardship ever arrived, He had already gone ahead of them. He wasn't surprised by what was coming, and He had already begun providing for what they would need. That reminder became an anchor every time fear about finances or the future threatened to overwhelm her.
As Dalin talked about carrying her family through this season, she described something that completely changed my perspective. She said she often pictures herself like a mountain goat navigating impossible terrain. Not because she's naturally strong, but because she believes God uniquely designed her for this particular season. Just as He equips a surgeon for surgery or a soldier for battle, she believes He equipped her to walk faithfully through this valley. She doesn't deny that it's hard. She simply believes that God prepared her before she ever knew she would need that strength. That's a beautiful reminder that the strength God gives us is always connected to the calling He places before us.
One of the most profound parts of our conversation centered on Hebrews 12. Every evening before bed, Dalin reads that chapter, where we're reminded to run the race marked out for us while fixing our eyes on Jesus. She pointed out something I had never considered before. Hebrews says that the joy was set before Jesus, but the suffering was set on Him. Jesus didn't pretend suffering was enjoyable. He endured it because His eyes remained fixed on the joy that lay beyond it. Dalin said watching Sean has given her a completely new picture of the crucifixion. Jesus wasn't physically strong when He carried the cross. He was beaten, exhausted, and barely able to continue. Someone else had to carry His cross for part of the journey. That image has transformed the way she views her own role in her marriage. Right now, she sees herself helping carry the weight while Sean bears the suffering. It's not because she's stronger than him. It's because that's the assignment God has entrusted to her in this season.
As we talked about marriage, Dalin shared one of my favorite quotes from Tim Keller: "Marriage isn't to make you happy; it's to make you holy." She explained that marriage is ultimately meant to reflect Christ's relationship with His Church. That means even fractured seasons can become places where God displays His redemption. She said something I'll never forget: "Good can be done through a fractured body." Sean's body may be weaker than it's ever been, but spiritually she believes he's more whole than ever. That's the beauty of God's work. He often produces the greatest spiritual growth in seasons where everything else appears to be falling apart.
Watching Dalin talk about parenting during this season was equally inspiring. Rather than shielding their children from every difficult conversation, she and Sean invite them into honest discussions about grief, fear, eternity, and God's faithfulness. She asks each child how they're doing, what they're afraid of, and what they believe about God in the middle of suffering. Instead of pretending everything is okay, they're intentionally building an eternal perspective into the hearts of their children. They're teaching them that hope isn't found in avoiding hardship. Hope is found in Christ's presence through it.
Near the end of our conversation, I asked Dalin who supports her. Her answer reminded me once again why biblical community matters so much. She admitted there have been moments when she has felt overlooked because so much attention naturally focuses on Sean's illness. Yet she also spoke with deep gratitude for her sisters, her church family, and the people who have faithfully walked beside them. She believes people rarely endure suffering well without biblical community. Looking back, she sees her church not simply as a place they attended but as a family that carried them when they could no longer carry themselves.
As I reflect on this conversation, one truth rises above everything else.
God rarely prepares us for suffering by explaining every detail of what's coming.
Instead, He prepares us by drawing us closer to Himself.
Every quiet time.
Every answered prayer.
Every difficult season you've already survived.
Every lesson learned through ordinary faithfulness.
None of it is wasted.
You may not realize it today, but God could be building the very foundation you'll stand on tomorrow.
So don't wait until the storm comes to seek Him.
Walk with Him today.
Because when suffering eventually arrives—and for all of us, it will—you'll discover that God has been preparing you all along.
And the greatest preparation He ever gives us isn't a plan.
It's His presence.
Listen to: How God Prepares You For Suffering Before It Begins
Suffering, Faith, Christian Living, Spiritual Growth, Trusting God, God's Faithfulness, Biblical Marriage, Christian Marriage, Perseverance, Hope, Community, Prayer, Quiet Time, Parenting, Discipleship, God's Grace, Trials, Endurance, Hebrews 12, Kingdom Chaos Podcast
