waiting on god in the silence
"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." — Isaiah 40:31
Have you ever found yourself praying the same prayer over and over again, only to feel like heaven was silent? Maybe you've cried out to God for direction, healing, restoration, or provision, and instead of receiving an answer, all you've experienced is waiting. If you've ever wondered where God is in those moments, you're not alone. I've been there too. In fact, some of the greatest seasons of growth in my life happened during times when God seemed the quietest.
There was a five-year season in my life that completely changed my understanding of faith, obedience, and trust. It began while I was working for an insurance company where I had spent fifteen years building a career. I enjoyed the work, the responsibility, and the challenge of providing for my family. From the outside, everything looked stable. But after I surrendered my life to Christ, God began changing my heart. One afternoon, while watching a sermon during my lunch break, God impressed one word on my heart: pastor. It wasn't an audible voice, but I knew without question that He was calling me into ministry. I immediately texted Amy, hoping she would tell me I was imagining things. Instead, she confirmed that she had been sensing the exact same thing. When I met with a trusted pastor, he affirmed the calling as well. Suddenly, what I had hoped was just a passing thought became something I couldn't ignore.
As I began pursuing that calling, God opened one door after another. I applied to Liberty University, and after what felt like an endless wait, I received my acceptance letter the very day I was preparing to apply somewhere else. Looking back, I can see that God wasn't denying me. He was teaching me to wait. That lesson would become a pattern throughout the next several years. Every delay was an invitation to trust Him instead of relying on my own timeline.
Not long after beginning school, I realized I couldn't continue working full-time while fully pursuing the ministry God had called me to. I felt like I had one foot in my old life and one foot in the new one. Eventually, I resigned from the company where I had spent fifteen years. It wasn't an easy decision. That job provided most of our family's income, and walking away from it meant stepping into tremendous uncertainty. But I believed God had called me to obedience, and I trusted that if He had called me, He would also provide.
For the next two years, I was unemployed. I spent nearly every day at church studying for my theology degree, serving wherever I was needed, and preparing for ministry. Financially, though, life became incredibly difficult. We watched our savings disappear. We reached the point where we had to decide which bills we could pay and which ones would have to wait. There were moments when I questioned everything. I wasn't hearing new direction from God, and that silence was hard. I kept wondering if I had misunderstood His calling or somehow taken the wrong path. Yet every time I prayed, I was reminded of what He had already spoken. He hadn't changed His calling. He was teaching me to remain faithful even when I couldn't see the outcome.
During that season, even well-meaning people encouraged me to return to my previous career. One pastor, who genuinely cared about our family, suggested that maybe it was time to go back into insurance because of the financial pressure we were facing. His advice made perfect sense from a worldly perspective. I had a family to provide for. I had bills to pay. But deep in my heart, I knew God had already spoken. I wasn't waiting for a new calling. I was waiting for God's timing. There are moments when wise advice must still be weighed against what God has clearly placed on your heart. Obedience isn't always easy, especially when circumstances suggest another direction.
Over those two years, I applied for three different ministry positions at our church. Each time, I believed this might be the answer to our prayers. Each time, the position disappeared altogether instead of being filled. Every rejection felt personal. Every closed door left me questioning what God was doing. I honestly reached a place of frustration and exhaustion. When another opportunity eventually came around, I was so discouraged that I initially refused to even interview. I had convinced myself I was done hoping. But that evening, God gently convicted me. He reminded me that I hadn't even prayed about the opportunity. I had made the decision based on my disappointment instead of bringing it to Him. That moment changed everything. I repented, prayed, and surrendered the outcome back to God. If He wanted me there, He would make a way. If not, I would continue trusting Him. That simple act of surrender opened the very door I had almost walked away from, and eventually I was hired.
Looking back now, I realize those two years weren't wasted. God wasn't withholding His blessing. He was shaping my character. He was teaching me dependence instead of self-reliance. He was stripping away my need for control and showing me that His plans are always better than my own. During those silent years, He was preparing me for opportunities I couldn't yet see. If He had answered my prayers immediately, I would have missed the lessons He wanted to teach me along the way.
One passage that has become especially meaningful to me is the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19. Elijah expected to encounter God through dramatic displays of power—a mighty wind, an earthquake, and fire. But God wasn't in any of those things. Instead, He spoke through a gentle whisper. That story reminds me that God's voice is often easiest to hear when we stop filling every moment with noise. We spend so much of our lives rushing from one responsibility to another that we rarely slow down enough to simply be with Him. Sometimes the silence we fear is actually the place where God is preparing to speak.
Today, when I look back on that season, I can clearly see God's fingerprints all over it. He restored our finances. He opened the right doors at the right time. I was eventually ordained, and every step of the journey made more sense in hindsight than it ever did while I was living it. That's often how God works. We usually don't understand His plan while we're walking through it. We understand it after we've walked through it. That's why faith isn't about seeing the whole picture. It's about trusting the One who already does.
If you're in a season of waiting right now, I want to encourage you not to mistake God's silence for His absence. Just because He hasn't spoken again doesn't mean He has forgotten you. Sometimes He's simply asking you to remain faithful to the last thing He already told you. Keep praying. Stay in His Word. Surround yourself with people who will encourage your faith. Continue taking the next step of obedience, even if it feels small. God is always working, even when you can't see it.
The waiting room may feel lonely, but it's never empty.
God is there.
And one day you'll look back, just as I have, and realize that what felt like silence was actually one of the greatest seasons of preparation in your life.
