God, Why Us? A Couple's Journey Through Loss, Marriage & Faith
When life doesn't make sense and prayers seem unanswered, can your marriage and faith grow stronger through the suffering?
About this episode
What do you do when the life you prayed for becomes a life filled with questions you never expected to ask?
Just two weeks into their marriage, Tolu and Esther received devastating news: Esther's mother had stage four cancer. Instead of settling into newlywed life, they found themselves facing grief, uncertainty, and one overwhelming question: God, why us?
In this episode of the Kingdom Chaos Podcast, Troy and Amy sit down with Tolu and Esther to hear their powerful Christian testimony of trusting God through loss, depression, marriage struggles, parenting challenges, and unexpected sacrifices.
From losing loved ones and navigating their son's autism diagnosis to Tolu's personal battle with depression and his decision to walk away from a successful career, their journey reveals what it means to follow Jesus when life doesn't go according to plan.
Through over ten years of marriage, they have learned that a strong Christian marriage isn't built by avoiding suffering. It's built by continually turning toward Jesus and choosing to love one another through it.
This conversation is about more than surviving difficult seasons. It's about discovering God's faithfulness in the middle of them.
Read more about this topic: God, Why Us? Finding Faith Through Loss, Marriage, and the Unexpected
Key Scriptures
Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Cherish her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. She will give you a garland to grace your head and present you with a glorious crown.” Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.
Proverbs 4:5-10
What’s in this episode
When Marriage Begins With Heartbreak: Facing a stage four cancer diagnosis just weeks after their wedding and learning to support one another through grief.
Trusting God When Prayers Go Unanswered: Wrestling with disappointment, anger, and the question of why God allows suffering.
A Husband's Battle With Depression: Tolu shares his testimony of depression, suicidal thoughts, guilt, and finding hope through his relationship with Jesus.
Loving Your Spouse Through Difficult Seasons: How prayer, sacrifice, encouragement, and intentional love helped strengthen their marriage.
Parenting Through Unexpected Challenges: Learning to trust God while raising their children and navigating an autism diagnosis.
When Obedience Costs You Everything: Why Tolu stepped away from his career and spent two years without steady employment to prioritize his marriage and family.
Finding Purpose in Your Pain: How God can use difficult experiences to deepen our faith and encourage others.
Reflection questions
When life doesn't go according to plan, how do you respond to God? Do you turn toward Him with your questions, or do you allow disappointment to create distance
How are you loving your spouse through difficult seasons? Are you offering the presence, patience, encouragement, and prayer they need?
Have you allowed past suffering to shape your view of God's goodness? How might your perspective change if you looked for His faithfulness even in the middle of pain
Is there something God may be asking you to surrender? Could your pursuit of financial security, career success, or personal comfort be taking priority over your relationship with Jesus or your family?
What example of faith are you setting for your children and others? Are they seeing someone who depends on God through both good and difficult seasons?
KEY TAKEAWAY
A strong faith and a Christ-centered marriage aren't built by avoiding suffering, but by choosing to trust Jesus and love one another through it. Even when prayers seem unanswered and life doesn't make sense, God can use our hardest seasons to strengthen our faith, deepen our marriage, and prepare us for purposes we cannot yet see.About Tolu and Esther Oyeniran
Tolu and Esther are a Christ-centered couple, devoted parents of two, and passionate followers of Jesus whose marriage is a powerful testimony of faith, perseverance, and God's grace.
Throughout their marriage, they have walked through heartbreaking loss, depression, anxiety, financial uncertainty, and the challenges of raising a family. From losing loved ones to cancer to making difficult decisions in obedience to God, their journey has taught them that faith isn't about having all the answers—it's about trusting Jesus even when life doesn't make sense.
Through prayer, sacrificial love, and an unwavering commitment to one another, Tolu and Esther have learned to lean on God's strength rather than their own. Their heart is to share their story openly, encourage couples facing difficult seasons, and remind others that a strong marriage isn't one without struggles, but one continually built on the foundation of Jesus Christ.
Quote from the episode
""When your obedience to God looks foolish to man, it's so hard to be in that position because the only one that you can hold on to is the word that God gave you." — Tolu